It was afternoon of Christmas Day as I sat alone at home listening to yet another LOA based audio recording. Hoping for the precious knowledge to soak my brains, I kept listening to the parts that really seemed to hit familiar grounds for me.
As I pressed rewind one last time, it hit me. And it truly hit me hard. While Dr Joe Vitale was kindly hypnotizing me with his amazing teachings, I found myself realizing that the idea of forgiveness I had was rather distorted.
You see...we all go through dramas in our lives. Some of them are huge, some small...but they are big enough hardships to keep us in shackles of anger, depression or even unforgiving determination to take revenge. And while we are busy hating, conspiring and creating mental voodoo dolls, we STILL see ourselves as dominant. Why? Perhaps because we are hurting inside and don't want to be perceived as weak. Or maybe it's because we feel this is all we have left.
I understood that what kept me from forgiving those who cut deep wounds in my heart was this idea that if I don’t forgive-I’ve got the upper hand. I’m in control. I’m the one deciding on their destiny (at least a tiny part of it) and they are now my imaginary slaves. I’d tell myself that as long as they are not forgiven for what they’ve done-I’m safe. As long as the blame is on their part, thickly underlined with my disapproval-I’m the winner! Or so I thought….
The bottom line is-I resisted forgiving those who hurt me because I saw forgiveness as this amazing gift that you give another person. I’d save it for those I love, trust and value and offer when they occasionally step out of line. But when it came to heavier sinners-oh no, never! They certainly did not deserve it!
I also held a belief that to forgive is to seek most amicable confrontation with the offender. That it will require preparation that I will have to stand with such a person face to face and announce how wonderful life is now that I chose to forgive them. This idea terrified me. And so I lived on kidding myself about how strong I was, simply because I wasn’t aware of what that magical ‘forgiveness’ was all about.
Time has passed and it has healed the wounds. I didn’t pay much attention to the past but hearing Dr Joe Vitale’s words led me to a truly valuable discovery. It has completely changed my view and perception of so many things. For this I am deeply grateful and this is also the reason I chose to write this.
And so when I finally got it, when I finally understood-that forgiveness was an inside job, that it certainly WAS a special gift-but one you give yourself, not anyone else-it was only then that I felt somewhat of a relief. I recognized that it is not necessary for the person involved to even know that you chose to forgive them. You don’t need to stand on top of the mountain and declare it out loud. There are no necessary rituals to follow or tricks to perform. You just need to let go. You need to give yourself this gift and allow for any negative emotions to disappear. Once you’re able to look back at situations or people that caused you pain without any damaging feelings coming to the surface-then you have truly forgiven. You won. You are in control. You can do anything.
Open your heart and allow it to grow. Forgiveness will help you do just that so start now.
Love,
Eve
